All emotions in moderation are normal, including, sadness, anger, frustration, guilt etc.

Those who validate their emotions and not try to push them aside progress further than those who live in denial. No, I am happy with what I did or said to my child, even when you are crumbling inside.

Every emotion has a function and Allah created us with different emotions. A person that doesn’t feel, guilty, sad or upset with injustice is not normal. For example; guilt pushes us to repent for sins. Loneliness pushes us to socialise and mix with people.

You should acknowledge your emotion, but not necessarily react to them. YES, I’m angry.. what can I do to calm down, before saying or doing things that will hurt me, my child and others even more later…

✅ Seeking refuge and aid from Allah.
✅ Sit down
✅ Go to another room
✅ Deep breath
Anything good that works for you.

Prevention is better than cure, but when the action is done and the guilt kicks in. Then don’t dwell on it for too long either. Nor turn it into a gateway to extreme self-criticism that will lead to rumination, negativity and nothing good for you or your family.

*Simple quick and effective solutions*

✅ Acknowledge your mistake, seek forgiveness and ask Allah to help you handle your child with tawfeeq.

✅ Ask the child for forgiveness even if you think they can’t understand. (Clarify that mummy was upset and she did or said what she shouldn’t have).

✅ I’m sorry for making you sad, hurt, sick etc.

✅ A big kiss and hug goes a long way to rekindle your relationship with your child and for that touching mummy affection.

Bonus!

Well Done Mum! You’ve also just taught your child how to resolve a similar situation in the future.

May Allah aid us on this journey of Islamic Parenting.

Reflection of grateful Mama